Cough, cough and more cough

The title says it all, been coughing all night, disturbed sleep and disturbing Dave's sleep. Grrrrrr.  Irritating cough, occasionally productive, yucky phlegm... phlegm is such a funny word. Phle-gm..ewwwww

What it feels like 

Is it serious? I don't think so, I am prone to coughs because I have trigger asthma, and so when I get an upper respiratory tract infection, it triggers my asthma, and coughing is what I get. I don't get too breathless or wheezy like most asthmatics, unless I forget to self-medicate, but the first sign of my asthma playing up is a cough. Starting to speak or laugh will set the cough off. Sudden changes in temperature will set it off too.  Brochiol constriction... nothing a brochodilator can't solve, I hope.

pretty infected cilia, nice!

The inhalers have come out, I have not used these for over a year.  Didn't need them at all in Trinidad.  Back in the cold I guess, that too is another trigger for my asthma along with damp and mouldy environments. Thank goodness it's not damp or mouldy in the apartment, hee hee.  The cough is not too bad when I am upright, but lying down is starts it off.. cough cough cough. I try to sleep propped up after a while and this helps me fall asleep, only to be woken by more coughing as I have slipped down the pillows to get comfy. Blooming cilia in my respiratory tract, trying to rid all sorts, therefore making me cough, darn those tiny hair-like projections!

I can almost taste that!

In my childhood days, I downed many a bottle of cough mixture, and bought a few for my own children, cough suppressants, mucus looseners,  linctus, mixtures, dry coughs, productive coughs.. did they really work, or was it all a placebo...... I now believe that coughs should not be suppressed... it prolongs the illness, and the body is unable to rid itself of the virus/bacteria via coughing as it's being suppressed by medication.  Yes, yes, it helps the symptoms, and you get relief, it allows you to get some sleep, but it stops the body's natural defence functions.  We have no cough mixture in the house, my body will have to sort itself out with the help of my asthma inhalers...ummmm, I lie,  as I have succumbed to some cough sweets... I was tired of the coughing, and it's no surprise that people seek out over the counter medicines to try to ease symptoms.  A hot mug of homemade honey and lemon soothes the throat which may be raw from coughing, also keeping well hydrated will help, says she, downing some water.

I think I will have to cancel my facial today, would not be fair or great to be coughing at the beauticians, just before Xmas. As I can't stop coughing when lying down flat, a facial is out of the question. Maybe a trip to the cinema with the kids later to see either Tangled or the latest Narnia... will go cough in the cinema instead!

There's a good flow-chart here on coughs, when to apply self- help remedies and when to seek medical help... will be good to share :-
http://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/home/tools/symptom/516.html

A cough is an annoying symptom that can have many causes. Follow this chart to help identify your problem and find suggestions for self-care.

SYMPTOMS		DIAGNOSIS		SELF-CARE
1. Has your cough begun recently?		Go to Question 12.**
2. Are you very short of breath, and are you coughing up pink, frothy mucus?		Your symptoms may be from a serious condition called PULMONARY EDEMA (fluid in the lungs).		EMERGENCY GO TO THE NEAREST EMERGENCY ROOM RIGHT AWAY.
3. Does your cough produce clear or pale yellow mucus?		You may have a viral illness such as a COLD or the FLU.		Get plenty of rest, and drink lots of fluids. Try over-the-counter medicines to treat your symptoms.
4. Does your cough produce yellow, tan or green mucus?		You may have an infection of the airways such as CHRONIC BRONCHITIS. If you have a fever with shaking chills and are very ill, you may have a more serious infection such as PNEUMONIA.		See your doctor. He or she can prescribe medicine to relieve your symptoms. Get plenty of rest, and drink lots of fluids. If you smoke, stop smoking.
5. Does the cough come with shortness of breath and wheezing?		These symptoms may be a sign ofASTHMA, a constriction of the airways.		Asthma can be dangerous and should be diagnosed and treated by your doctor.
6. Do you have swelling in your legs and/or shortness of breath when you are active or after you have been lying down?		Go to Question 10.*
7. Do you have heart problems?		Persistent coughing can be caused by CONGESTIVE HEART FAILURE, especially when there is a buildup of fluid in the lungs.		See your doctor.
8. Have you recently started coughing up blood or bloody sputum?		Go to Question 12.**
9. Have you recently started having sharp chest pain, rapid heartbeat, swelling of the legs and sudden shortness of breath?		Bloody mucus with these symptoms may mean that a blood clot has moved from your leg to your lungs. This is called PULMONARY EMBOLISM.		EMERGENCY SEE YOUR DOCTOR RIGHT AWAY.
*10. Do you have a fever, chills and night sweats along with chest pain when you cough or take a deep breath?		These symptoms may be caused by TUBERCULOSIS or another type of infection.		See your doctor.
11. Have you unintentionally lost weight?		This may be a sign of a serious illness, such as LUNG CANCER. Other signs of lung cancer may include a cough that produces bloody sputum, shortness of breath and wheezing.		See your doctor right away.
**12. Did you inhale dust, particles or an object?		IRRITATION OF THE AIRWAYS will cause coughing to attempt to clear the object or irritation out of the airway.		If the coughing is severe or if you don't believe the irritant has been cleared from your airway, see your doctor or go to the emergency room right away.
For more information, please talk to your doctor. If you think your problem is serious, call your doctor right away.

This tool has been reviewed by doctors and is for general educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for medical advice. The information in this tool should not be relied upon to make decisions about your health. Always consult your family doctor with questions about your individual condition(s) and/or circumstances. Source: American Academy of Family Physicians. Family Health & Medical Guide. Dallas: Word Publishing; 1996.

I Hate Being Ill

Been ill over last 3 days, nothing specific, started with a head cold, and then a cough, head feeling like it's stuffed with cotton wool, sinuses hurting and generally feeling yucky. No raised temperature as far as I could tell but Dave said I felt hot a few times.

Spent a lot of time in bed, dozing, reading and listening to the radio on line. A whole week's episodes of The Archer's was listened to on Friday!  Surfaced to cook for the family and myself and to eat. Not really had much of an appetite but ate anyway.... if I don't eat, my stupid stomach complains with pain, a bit of gastritis or dyspepsia. I only have to miss a few meals or eat a few meals later than normal and my stomach will complain loudly.  As I hate pain as much as being ill, I eat whether I feel hungry or not, and try to eat at meal times as much a possible.

Anyhow, Christmas is less than a week away, Bah Humbug, I am not feeling Christmassy this year.... it's a time for home and family and more and more I am beginning to feel as though I have no real home.  Home is where the heart is as the saying goes, and so, I guess Thornhill is home, as my heart is here with Dave and the kids. Malaysia too is home as that is where I was born and brought up, England too is home as I spent nearly 20 years living and building a life there. It's a funny sort of feeling, being in limboland.  A bit sad I guess.

I chose to leave Malaysia at 23, fully grown adult, and made my life in England, yet despite nearly 20 years of living there, I felt like I never belonged. Yet, I did not feel like I could return to Malaysia either, and now, after a year in Trinidad, I am in Canada.  I did feel at home in Trinidad, I looked like a local and my neighbours and friends I made there really accepted me into their circle, I almost felt like family... it was a great feeling.

Malaysia

Our home in Beeston, Notts, UK

Our pool in Trinidad

I feel isolated here in Canada, it's a vast country and though people are friendly, they're not as friendly as the Trinidadians and I feel lost...At least I am now welcomed at school and seen valued as a volunteer, gives me a purpose in life again apart from my fantastic role and wife and mother, of course.

The kids are looking forward to Xmas, Dave has wrapped almost all the pressies, I have yet to get him anything, but because I have not earned any money for a while, and the house back home is not being rented out as yet, I feel like I have no money of my own and whatever I buy for him, he ends up paying for.  It's really strange, I have always worked apart from the last 18 months, and earned my own money that was put in a common pot and therefore did not worry about spending. Now though, I feel like I can only spend money for essentials and feel really guilty if I spend on treats.  Silly, I know, Dave is earning for us both, but I feel like I have lost some independence, well a lot of independence and am now dependant on him... not a nice feeling, I can tell you... the solution is easy, get a job!

So, that will be my New Year's resolution.... finding a job that will fit in with the kids.  I am currently waiting for a new work permit and also for the College of Nurses Ontario to approve my credentials and give me a license to practice as a nurse. I have mentioned that I am at a crossroads, I am not sure I want to return to nursing, but I do not know what I want to do either. Am beginning to sound confused, maybe the virus in my sinuses has retreated and is now lodged in my brain!

A Weighty Issue

Day 5 since I started my new blog entitled I am what I eat....my promise was to keep a food journal and weight progress. Missed an entry yesterday. I have never really been able to keep a journal. Don't get me wrong, each new year that passes, I get a new diary or someone gives me a lovely notebook for Christmas and I think, yes, this year, I will write in it, keep a diary of my year. The first day comes and I write in it, the 2nd dawns, and I pen a few more lines, day 3, life takes over and I forget to write in it, and so on, day 10, I remember I have a diary, and quickly jot down a precis of what's happened in the last few days....  Day 12, I forget I have a diary, and never write in it again!

The closest I have come to keeping a running commentary of our lives is when Mitchell was born. I started writing a journal about how our day went, what he was doing, how he was feeding, how he was cared for, the first smile, burp, posset, colour of his nappies, visits to doctors, immunisations, teething and sleeping cycle, you get the idea. I really enjoyed doing this, I may not have written in it every day, but most days, and kept it going until Jasmine was born, then Dave decided he wanted to write in my journal, took over completely and I stopped writing in it..... We have about 7-8 of these journals about the children's early days. The writing has come to a standstill now, Dave continues to make notes on backs of envelopes in the hope of catching up with his writing. I have my blogs, but not everybody wants to read about my kids achievements and quirky ways but they do say the funniest things at times and show me up big time, hey ho, I can live with it, I learn from them as much as they learn from me.

No chance of wearing shoes like this!

Anyway back to the title of this blog. I have battled with my weight since I was about 9 years old. It seems I discovered food then. I still remember the entries on my primary school report card, we were weighed and heighted every term, so 3 times a year. At age 7, we started school, Standard 1, and the record is as follows, 1st Term, ht-4 ft, wt-50lbs;  Term 2, ht-4ft1 wt-51lbs; Term 3 ht-4ft2, wt- 51lbs. So far so good, grown 2 inches, only 1lb of weight put on. I won't bore you any more with detailed records, but when I was 8,  I weighed 80lbs at the end of that year... I put on a whopping 30 lbs in a year, ok, I'd grown about 4 inches too, but 30 lbs!! That was the start of my weight problems and onward and upward it crept, when I left primary school at age 12, I was 5ft 2inches tall and I weighed 140lbs... 10 stone to my UK readers.  Not all that bad, you say? Considering all my Malaysian female friends who I went to school with never ever reached that weight as an adult, even when pregnant, it was bad, well I was overweight and the weight just kept piling on and on and on. If there was one thing that I was good at when I was growing up, it was putting on weight!

9 yrs old and 90lbs in weight, did not look fat though!

All my family used to tease me and point out all the fat people to me, saying that I was related to them. I reacted by eating more, showing them how I fat I could become, detrimental to my own self image and health in the end, but when you're a teenager, it's not difficult to get it wrong. I got it wrong BIG time, lol, the operative word there- BIG. I was so big, I could not buy clothes of the peg at stores, they had to be specially made the dressmakers. This started earlier on, and I just took it to be normal, as my mum, who was petite in comparison, always had clothes made at the dressmakers. My feet grew along with the rest of me, and I ended up having to have shoes custom made for me too. My feet are w-i-d-e, wider than some men's and so finding shoes to fit is a nightmare, right to this day.

Looking positively slim, yet I was over 90lbs in weight.

I have a teacher called Mrs Khor to thank for changing my attitude towards my weight. She was my 5th Form teacher in secondary school.  I was the school champion shot putter back then, and played in the school hockey and handball teams, though I am sure I was rubbish and only  there because I was big and big is good for defender positions.  I represented the school in shot putt and discus too. So, I was fairly active but definitely not active enough to stop the weight increase. It was the end of the year, in 1983, and we had to be weighed for our report cards. I weighed 83.5kgs, the heaviest I've been, even when I was pregnant with my children! Mrs Khor said to me, Suyin, you need to watch that weight of yours, you are way too heavy.  That's all it took.

For the next 2 years, I attended 6th Form in boys school, and I took to eating sensibly, reducing my calorie intake to about 1000 calsok. From then on my weight has fluctuated and I am fighting the battle of the middle age spread!

When I left for the UK to do my nurse training, I decided to get fit and lose the weight I had put on since leaving school, I cannot recall what I weighed, but at the height of my fitness, about the time I met Dave, I weighed just under 10 stone! I got into size 12 clothes for the first time ever! The old size 12, from being a size 16, this was a great feeling. This was achieved through swimming everyday for at least 30 minutes, and eating a diet of about 1500 calories a day. I ate lots of salads, cottage cheese and about half of what I consume now, when I reflect on it. I cut out all the naughty things like crisps, chips, biscuits, chocolate etc and ate loads of fruit and veg. In fact my diet is the same now, apart from the fact that I am not watching the portions that much. Plus my exercise levels are not quite so high, I used to swim a mile a day, and it took about 40 minutes, and I lived on top of a hill in Bristol and I used to power walk up it to get home from work.

I now have a pool downstairs,  a small gym too, yoga classes not too far away, yet here I sit on my fat ass and write this blog! I weighed myself this morning at the gym, back to 176 lbs- this was my constant weight in Trinidad, last year, so no yoyo-ing  which is good, but I have to lose some weight. So need to up the activity and down the portion size. I do not deprive myself of any foods, and I eat according to what my body tells me I need to eat.... my body is definitely betraying me, perhaps my brain can take over? I cannot cut down on alcohol calories, because I don't drink anyway, I cannot cut down on chips, because I don't eat those, we have no cake in the house, we have biscuits but I can leave them alone...

I guess I had a bad week last week, my body was telling me to eat, so I ate. This week, I'm fine, I'm full after small portions... it will all pan out I hope, but lose weight I must. My darling keeps telling me I am not fat, but I am overweight. No darling in their right mind would tell their darling's their fat, are you kidding me? They value their lives!