Vanity prevails

Facials...... do we need them? Women feel that we need them, why do we need them? Is it vanity, a treat, time out, something that makes us feel good, wanting to preserve our beauty, youth, looks? All of the above I guess. One must also consider one's genes I guess. I have a friend in Malaysia, who swears she uses normal bath soap to wash her face and off the shelf moisturiser and yet her skin is flawless. No outbreaks, no lines, no pigmentation problems..... she told me how she was accosted at the departmental store by a salesperson promoting Shisheido, I think, and her skin was complimented on, and when the salesperson tried to introduce my friend to the rather expensive range of skin care, my friend just said, "I've only ever used soap and water and Nivea, and I will never change. Didn't you just say I had fantastic looking skin?" The salesperson admitted defeat and sloped of with her products tucked between her legs. Hahahaha.

Yet, you have the likes of me, skin needing a lot of attention, which it doesn't get, I would like to add here, and so, it's dull, lots of freckles, a few lines, some outbreaks on that special time of the month, where my emotions rule my brain and mouth and I become the monster from hell! I have white heads, some blackheads, congested pores, you name it my skin had it.... all diagnosed every time I go for a facial. Which in the past was sporadic, what with work, and finances not permitting. Self care at home was so so, I would wash and moisturise twice a day, not religiously, not because I did not think skin care was important, it's just that there are other things more important than skincare!. Well, admittedly, if I had a problem with acne, I would not be so blase about it. As I saw it, my skin was flawed, but not majorly and I could live with that.

The problem is, beauticians cannot live with the way the skin on my face is. Today, I went for a facial, because I stupidly agreed to buy a course of 10 for the bargain price of about £300, which by facial standards is reasonable. I could have a number of facials, including micr0dermabrasion, aromatherapy, moisture boost and the list goes on, I am not exactly sure what the entire list is, because it was all written in Chinese! Are Chinese facials different to a caucasian facial??? I would say yes, the former is really hot on getting all your comidomes (white and black heads)sorted, and also the hard sell. Blimey, if there was one thing that ruined the whole experience I had this afternoon was the recommendation of product after product and treatment after treatment. All for my benefit I know, but oh, how tedious, all I wanted was to switch off and lie back, be pampered. Not, oh, your skin is very dry, we could apply this rather magnificent mask to help, but it's not in your plan, it'll be and extra $25 for a single treatment, but only $150 for a series of 10! Yippeee, hurrah, another bargain. Or not! I politely decline, I was having microdermabrasion today, so, with the top layers of my epidermis debrided away, of course my skin was extra dry, and really, with this treatment, you should include the mask, as it dries the skin, well, in my opinion anyhow.

Mm khan yew, she said, that's no problem in cantonese. So peace at last, or so I thought. Then came the, are you interested in losing weight? Lei yau lam oi kham fei moh? I say, the Brits would not be so forward. What do you mean? I am fat? I look fat lying down, you can tell I am overweight by massaging my face, neck and shoulders??? Sigh. Please,please, I just want to lie here and think of nothing, nothing at all, not whether I am fat, I need to lose weight, not about your weight loss programme, how much it costs, oh, real bargain 30 sessions for $1200! Or 50 for $15000. A huge bargain to be had. Hey, does she not know I am unemployed? She does know, I told her! The buyer of my house in the UK is an indecisive lunatic, and you want me to think about losing weight? Come on now, please, leave me to wallow in peace, just deal with my face in silence please. Unfortunately for me, but fortunately for her, my command of cantonese did not stretch to being able to convey this message across politely, so, I just politely said, I will think about it.

The final straw?? We are nearly done, the normal face mask goes on, she leaves the room, AHHHHhhhhhhhhhhh, peace at last, I fall into a much needed doze and hear myself snoring....hehehe... after sometime, she returns, takes the mask off, cleanses, tones, tingling skin here now, how refreshing, then she talks to me about moisturisers, eye cream, etc etc, all in cantonese, some of it is lost as I just plainly don't understand the words. Must be some technical skin care cantonese dictionary I could borrow for my next visit.

So, I have fought the hard sell, which incidentally happened as soon as I walked in. AHhh, says Sammy, Suyin, these were the products I did not have time to sell you as you were in a rush the last time.... oh oh, yeah, like right, I was in a mad rush, you made me late for my kids by going over the time I said I had, left a mask on my face and disappeared for more than 30 minutes! I decline politely, I was conned by the hard sell by buying the 10 facials and then again by adding 10 eyebrow shaping and upper lip threading, I was not buying anything else. It was not that I did not like the products, it was Sothy's, and Decleor, and Guinot, what's not to like? They also had Collins and Les Naturalles- never heard of before. The problem was, it was all high end, high end for me, and I am conscious of my non earning state. Hell, yeah, if it was my money I was spending, maybe, but not when I was not working. And I think back to Sylvia and her soap, water and Nivea and think skin care is big business, because beauty is big business, and us women are just suckers for beauty, miracles, anything that will make us more attractive, because it makes us feeeeel so gooooood for the obvious reason that it makes men look at us, and that in turn makes us feel even better. Or we get wonderful compliments from everyone, sometimes complete strangers.

I digress from my tale. There we were, nearly done, face feeling great, looking wonderful, freckles amazingly minimal( not much sun lately and better use of sunblock). She massages my scalp, feeling good then she tries again on the weight loss.... oh my god, I must have a weight problem. She tries to sell me an aromatherapy massage oil with essential oils by De'Cleor for skin with orange peel appearance, citing that clients have used it and noticed some weight loss in problems areas such as upper arms, tummy fat thighs....Arghhhh, now she's implying I have cellulite, how did she discover this? She has only access to my face, neck, shoulders and upper arms. I was treated to a sample of the oil, mmmm, yes, very nice, but double Arghhhh, leave me be, I do not want to buy anything, not today, not ever, NOT EVER! I would like to add here, that I do not have cellulite, no sireeee.

The moral of the tale, do not ever, ever buy a course of 10 facials at a Chinese run salon/spa, whatever you do. You may look great after your 10 sessions, but your nerves will be frayed by all the hard sell, or you'll be broke because you bought the hard sell!